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The Order Awards 2007
Primary** Awards As you have all been waiting for, and expected, the massive belt of the **God King** is this year passed on to... It's all-time, never challanged owner - **Gerko**! He won with an ass-whopping 8 votes over the tied runner ups Luke and Alec with two votes each. Third place is Abstain with 1 vote - our beloved member that only seems to be remembered around this time of year. **Coolest** among the Orderites is, surprising to no one, your beloved Administrative Senator and ever so faithful public servant **Luke**, with 4 votes. Wooz is however close to the ultimate title of coolness with 3 votes. Kharn, Lauren, suliK, Gus, Elly and Abstain all fumble in the dark with only 1 vote to their name for the ice-award. **Sexiest** amongst the lot is a dynamic duo of our very own Norwegian pre-teen hunk **Gus**, and the only female in the lot with a ripped russian t-shirt, **The Commissar** - both with 4 votes each. The runner up is the eye-jizzing Abstain, with 3 votes. Interestingely enough, some Orderites without taste gave Oztard and Jebus 1 sympathy vote each. Who the most **Orderite** is among the Orderites was a tough race, taken home by the venerable **Abstain**, who got 3 votes. **Luke**, **Wooz** and **Jebus** all share the silver of this title for the following year, with 2 votes each. Running up are suliK, Malky, Elly and Azure with a weak vote to their respective names. The member who **BLINDS** the most of his fellow forumites is the longtime winner **Oztard** with a smashing 4 votes. If he could only hear the cheers of tribute! suliK, Overseer and Gus take the silver with 2 votes each, closely followed by Kotario, Malky and CCR who - surprisingly enough, as strong contestants as they were - have to be content with a 1-vote-each acclaimed bronze. The members most desired to **Meet in Real Life** are the venerable **Wooz**, **Kharn**, **Luke** and **Elissar**, with 2 massive votes each. suliK, Commissar, Jebus, Azure and Abstain all have one secret admirer among the group - but who? (Paypal me for info). He who is best adviced to look around the corner for a **ban** is our beloved **Malkavian** - even though his strikes are cleared since his last time on the ban-wagon! With 5 votes, he annihilated all possible competition from the silvermen Overseer and suliK. TVD and Dove have 1 ban-vote to their names, and Serifan gets an honorary mention (even though he's not an eligible reciever and thus counts as abstain). **Kharn** is adviced by his Orderites to stop thinking so hard, being the one with the **heaviest** intellect to bear as his burden (5 votes). He is challanged by our crazy lab-rat Murdoch who takes the silver with 2 votes together with Sander. Some random votes were also cast on Comissar, KSM, eom and Abstain (1 each). The **biggest pineapple** can be found on an excavation up the **Overseers** bunghole - with an unchallenged 4 votes, there is no doubt who needs to speed-dial his proctologist. Kharn is also suspected to have something big up there, as testified to by three. Sander alone takes the bronze with 2 votes, and finishing in another timezone are Hentario, Gwydion, Malkavian and Mikey with 1 vote each. **Secondary** Awards**:** As tough a race as it was, **Wooz** in the end knows no competition to the **coolest nick** award, with a breathtaking 3 votes. KSM and Abstain runs in second with 2 votes each, closely followed by suliK, Commissar, The Psychopathic Polosh, mrmodem, Yamu and Ratty, all with 1 meager vote. Knowing few limits, **Wooz** also takes the **coolest avatar** award as if it was critisizing the airbrush technique of a ten year old - with 5 votes to back him up! Abstain didn't have a shot, even with his three votes. PH shows up to claim a puny bronze with 2 votes, while Comissar, suliK and Skenvoy stand in the shade with an embarassing 1 vote each. The **coolest sig** award was taken easily by your beloved stripper-fucking **Luke**, who's gimmick proved to be good for yet another year with 3 votes, though it is shared with **Abstain** who's sig is also lesser to none. The message is; If you don't have strippers in your sig like Luke, don't have a sig at all, like Abstain. CCR takes a pathetic second place with only 2 votes, shared with Kharn, while Commissar, Jebus and Gus get red-faced in the corner with their worthless 1 vote each. The undisputably **worst sig and/or avatar** is carried by **suliK** - killing all question with 5 powerful votes. Sander and Mikey both fall on the finish with only 2 votes, merely beating Dove, Elissar, CCR and Abstain with 1 each. The **Funniest Smap** is posted by the very same champion; our storytelling **suliK**, with 4 votes each the size of DammitBoys! ego. Alec just didn't make the cut with 3 votes, beating Jebus, Gus, Mikey, Eom, Mohrg and Overseer who finished with the same amount of votes as they have testicles - 1. The ones who just can't seem to get the **jokes right** are **Overseer** and **Rusty Skull**, each weighing in with 3 votes. Dove is not far from the prize with 2 votes, and sharing the bronze are KSM, Jebus, CCR, Malky and Abstain with 1 each. **Most ignored** of the Orderites is, and it's a wonder we remembered him at all; **Fireblade** with 3 votes. Colt gets a fine silver medal with 2 votes, TVD an honorary mention for his 2 votes, and Rusty Skull, Overseer, Jebus, KSM, Locke Taelos and Abstain are too ignored to win the ignored-award, with only 1 vote each. **Random** Awards**:** Wath out, young parentless younglings out there - the Orderites **Most likely to molest an orphan** are our very own **Azure**, weighing in with 4 votes, and **suliK** with the same count (though one wonders if it's possible for an orphan to molest himself?) Kharn only got 2 votes this time around, and the 1-vote dropins were Wooz, Gus and Abstain. **suliK** is hot on the porrage, and is the one **most likely to jump off a building thinking he's Superman**, with 6 votes - making this the most agreed upon award thus far! Azure took an exceptionally weak silver with 2 votes. Malkavian, Overseer, Kharn, Commissar and CCR are mentally instable, but not instable enough to actually make the jump with only 1 vote each. Our discrete, but beloved **Hentario** is furthermore the one most likely to be **spotted at a furry fandom convention** - this also with a 6 vote probability! Ratty is moderately likely to be spotted with 2 votes, though he is known to keep to dark places and preferrably small, half-circled shapes in the walls. Mikey, TVD, Ozrat, Malkavian and Rusty Skull are the Orderites likely to actually spot Hentario at the convention with 1 vote each, since the rest of the populous is just too cool to go at all, let alone be recognized. Who our members **primarily don't think refrains from masturbating the least - not** is **Kharn**, with a whole 3 votes to testify to his perversity. suliK is also known to wack his dong a little too often, and takes the silver with 2 votes. Surprisingly enough, Hentario, Scotty, Ratty, Luke, Jebus, The Commissar, Paladin Homo and Abstain all share the bronze with 1 vote, as frequent masturbators as they are known to be. The person bearing the **lightest burden of intellect** and thus is most likely to not understand the above question or award, is as expected **suliK** with 5 votes. Although missing the title, the Overseer shouldn't consider himself too smart either, as proven by 2 votes to his 'favor'. Paladin Homo, TVD, Luke, TED, KSM and Abstain are considered moderately dumb with 1 vote. The award to Orderite who **really shouldn't get an award in any category** goes the **Overseer** - if he will be able to accept it before taking leave of this realm. It is however shared with **Abstain** as they both fight for the title with 2 votes each. TVD, Malky, Clerquer, Sander, suliK, Ashmo, Paladin Homo and Gwydion are also to be consider unworthy of any award they might get, as testified to by 1 vote each. And, last but not least, the award you have all been waiting for... What was that, **Jebus**? Did you really think you'd get away this year? As many as 11 people voted you the proud carrier of the **Parrot Rank of the Year** award! I won't say who cast it, but there was also one vote for "Whichever asshole thought this award up" (that would be me, so one vote for Luke), as well as an unexpected vote for Kharn from a riot-maker who has no respect for tradition. I here ask Kharn to carry out the ceremonial crowning of the Orders Pet Parrot for one month to come! The big winner appears to be **suliK**, with a total of four gold medals! Furthermore, Kharn, Wooz, Overseer, Luke and even Abstain all attained the glorious 3-gold-medals status this year. The Glory!